


Shadows

by Dedicate Kiwicrocus (cranky__crocus)



Series: SMACKDOWN '11 R2, R3, Final - CIRCLECEST [31]
Category: Emelan - Tamora Pierce - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Goldenlake, Other, smackdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-10
Updated: 2011-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-20 07:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cranky__crocus/pseuds/Dedicate%20Kiwicrocus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sandry was thirty-five when her Circle stone went dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SMACKDOWN at Goldenlake: fiefgoldenlake.proboards.com

            Sandry was thirty-five when her Circle stone went dark. She was staying at the Cheeseman House, in the study that was also her guest bedroom. The room looked black to her and she couldn’t recall why, not until she glanced down at her chest and found it was not glowing as it did most evenings she chose to sleep without a night lamp.

            She frowned to feel her heart-rate increase. _It’s out_ , she called to her family. _The stone is out_. She could feel their confusion at the statement.

            Daja responded first. _The light-stone? From Winding Circle?_

            That jogged the memories of Briar and Tris.

            _I’m surprised it lasted so long, young as we were_ , Tris declared; Sandry could feel her pride.

            She could also feel Briar’s concern. _Are you alright, Sandry?_

            _I’m not sure_ , she answered honestly. _It’s dark. I thought I was too old for this, but it’s dark…_

            The other three hurried down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe it’s gone out,” she said at last. “It’s dark.”

Sandry removed the stone from her neck and clutched it to her chest. It was strange to feel her hand, know it clutched the stone and see no rays of light peeking through. Her light had gone dark.

            Tris, Daja and Briar arrived at once; she could feel and hear them at her door, though she could not see them. She drew a breath and held it, let it out slowly and fell into the meditative breathing she had known since her second decade.

            The three entered the room and spread out over her bed, Daja and Briar on either side with Tris at the end. If Sandry adjusted her eyes, she could see the blazing of their powers; it comforted her.

            “I can’t believe it’s gone out,” she said at last. “It’s dark.”

            Their power circled around her; she spun herself in it and continued her breathing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’m thirty-five and I still fear the dark..."

 “I’m thirty-five and I still fear the dark,” Sandry stated as she held her old stone in her hands; it lay lightless—lifeless—there. “I’m older than Rosethorn was when we met her. What would she say of my fear of the dark?”

            “She would say she understands,” Briar responded before the others could; they wouldn’t have anyway, for they understood he knew best. “She feared many things at thirty-five, but her fear of dark came later. Other fears never leave.”

            His voice felt as dark as the room. Sandry thought of the scars on his back and shuddered, imagining the other scars behind his eyes that would never leave him. Surely if she could comprehend that, she could forgive herself her fear of darkness—and what it came from.

            “Tris? Daja? Are you still afraid?” She could feel movement in the dark; the blazing bodies of their magic moved with the sound.

            “I do,” Tris answered, her voice the whisper of pages. “I still fear I’ll be left behind, somehow.”

            “I fear you all being in the same place—that I might lose you and live,” Daja murmured. “I would prefer to leave over that.”

            Sandry clutched Daja’s hand. “Please don’t: I couldn’t bear it.”

            “Me either,” Briar and Tris agreed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you all do when you’re afraid?”

Sandry’s room remained dark but she moderated her breathing, keeping it within the strict and practiced framework of meditation.

            “What do you all do when you’re afraid?” she asked her family, all gathered on her bed. She knew in some senses but felt frightened and thought speaking on it might help.

            “It depends on what the fear is,” Tris responded.

            “I fear dark,” Sandry clarified. The darkness in the room seemed to shift. “And shadows.”

            “My mam taught me about shadows when I was a tot,” Briar said softly. He seldom spoke of his family in the slums—he hadn’t known them long. “She told me that dreams and nightmares both come from shadows—sleep, I think she meant—and that I couldn’t shun the nightmares of shadows without also shunning the dreams.”

            “I like that.” Daja’s voice was low. “I was taught shadows were old family members come to check on us.”

            “I like that too,” Briar replied. “Mam would’ve.”

            “I was just taught shadows were the antithesis of light,” Tris declared. “Dull. But a nurse once told me to be grateful to darkness because it allowed me to appreciate light. That’s like Briar’s, I suppose: can’t have one without the other.”

            Sandry cradled her lightless stone and stroked it with her fingers. “I like those shadows. I would like shadows to be that, rather than bringing to mind poxes and Pirisi. Poor Pirisi.”

            “Poor Pirisi,” the others reiterated.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sandry, will you be able to sleep in the dark?”

 “Sandry, will you be able to sleep in the dark?” Tris asked from the foot of Sandry’s bed. The woman’s light stone from childhood had finally gone out, twenty-five years later. “We can fetch a lantern.”

            “I’m thirty-five,” Sandry said. Her voice held a challenge; her friends guessed it was not a challenge for them, but one to the ghosts of Sandry’s fears. “I am a thirty-five year old woman, a great mage and future Duchess; I am Sandriline fa Toren, of Emelan and Namorn. I was the student of Lark and the teacher of many. I am family to Great Mages Trisana Chandler, Daja Kisubo and Briar Moss.” She took a breath. “I am going to sleep in the dark.”

            “She’s gone noble,” Briar whispered, but there was a smile in his voice. Daja’s laughter was distinguishable.

            Sandry held out her hands and sent the feeling of it to her siblings. She soon felt three hands on each of hers—two from Daja on the right, two from Briar on the left and one each from Tris at the end of the bed.

            Her voice was less formal when she spoke this time. “But could you all stay with me? I don’t think I can get through the first night alone.”

            “That’s the Sandry I know,” Briar murmured. He moved to kiss her temple. “And of course.”

            “Always, _saati_.”

            “Let me go fetch some extra pillows.” Tris shifted. “I’ll be right back.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Good night,” she whispered against Briar’s neck. “And good night, shadows.”

It was a tight fit, four grown mages in one bed. Sandry lay between Daja and Briar, clutching Tris’ hand over Briar’s hip.

            It was her first evening of darkness. Thirty-five, and the stone filled with light from her friends in pre-adolescence had finally gone dead. Dark, she hurried to correct herself: dark did not mean death. Dark meant that the light was gone, but that it may come back.

            In this case it was a choice. They were trained, adult great mages now: she knew she could fill the stone with light again with their assistance. What mattered to her now was the choice: _would she?_

            Sandry breathed deep and smiled at the smell of Briar’s hair, evergreen strength and deciduous seasonality with the hint of earth and herbs. It grounded her. She knew her room was filled with shadows, but the meaning of shadows was up to personal interpretation.

            She thought that now, as a grown woman, she would cease to see them as the poxed come to haunt her; she would see them as the antithesis of light, or beloved family members to check in on her, or the formation of dreams yet to come. It would be tricky, she thought, but she was stubborn enough for the task, surely.

            “Good night,” she whispered against Briar’s neck. “And good night, shadows.”

            _Good night Sandry_ , her family responded.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! C: Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
